


Comparing Notes

by Devereauxs_Disease



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alana and Margot have a talk, F/F, F/M, How are the murder husbands in bed, M/M, inquiring minds and all that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 20:29:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7478856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devereauxs_Disease/pseuds/Devereauxs_Disease
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How are the Murder Husbands in bed? We'll find out from the people who know...<br/>A series of one-shots about one of the most important questions in the fandom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comparing Notes

Alana was tired. It was her night to put Morgan down and of course all he wanted was another story. Margot was better with him, she somehow found the perfect balance between loving and firm. Alana just couldn’t manage it. Tonight she was Mean Mommy, a moniker she seemed to earn more and more frequently of late.

She had almost convinced herself to turn around and read Morgan another chapter of Treasure Island when she heard giggles coming from her bedroom. Slowing her steps to dull their noise, Alana peered around the doorway. Margot was bundled up in her favorite silk pajamas, the ones that made her look like Myrna Loy in some decadent 30s film, one hand pressed to her mouth, shoulders shaking as she looked at something on her tablet.

“And what, pray tell, has my wife making such a racket?”

Margot flushed, turning a gorgeous shade of pink that made Alana smile fondly.

“Nothing.” Margot’s eyes were huge.

“You know I don’t buy that look when Morgan has it, either.” Alana was having trouble keeping her face stern, her lips ticking up in the corners.

“Jimmy updated his fic on AO3.” 

Alana sighed. Ever since they had fled Baltimore, Margot had developed a perverse fascination with the Murder Husbands culture Freddie Lounds had developed. Margot commented on message boards anonymously, devoured fan fiction like it was actual literature, and had a bizarre email relationship with Jimmy Price that Alana had decided to find charming instead of disturbing.  

Alana rolls her eyes, she slipped out of her robe, leaving her in a chemise. At least she could still get Margot’s attention the old fashioned way. Sliding beneath the covers, Alana held out her hand.  

“Let me see.” Margot bit her lip and held out the tablet, the flush still pinking her cheeks and ears. This ought to be good…

_Hannibal stretched before Will on the bed, ass high and hole fluttering. Will stroked his pulsating member, pre-come flowing freely from the tip. He grabbed Hannibal’s hips jerking them high, until the cannibal was performing a handstand, legs split at a perfect 180 degree angle._

_“Tonight, Hannibal, you’re my sloppy bi-_

“OH MY GOD!” Alana chucked the tablet away from her, cringing. Margot laughed. “I don’t even think that’s physically possible.”

Margot smiled, retrieving the tablet from the foot of the bed and placing it on the nightstand. She raised an eyebrow at her wife.

“Maybe you’re just not that flexible?”

Alana snorted.

“Trust me, neither is Hannibal.”

Margot stared at her open-mouthed. Alana’s eyes went wide for a moment, they had never talked about Alana’s time with Hannibal. It figured that this would be their starting point. Margot began to giggle. Alana smiled. The tension broke and both fell on each other laughing.

“I can’t believe I’m married to a former lover of Hannibal the Cannibal!” Margot teased poking softly at Alana’s middle.

“Me? You slept with the other half of the Murder Husbands!” Alana smacked at Margot’s hands, before latching her own fingers to Margot’s sides. “You don’t even like boys, Mrs. Verger.”

Margot froze. Alana felt a spike of panic that the game had gone too far.

“We fucked the Murder Husbands.” Margot said, her mouth curling. “We’re Murder Wives!”

Alana let her head drop on Margot’s shoulder.

“Thank you Ms. Lounds.”

“Well, I am your wife, shouldn’t I get the exclusive?” Margot straightened up. She held her hand in Alana’s face, pretending to have it curled around a microphone. “Tell me, Dr. Bloom: What was Hannibal like in the sack?”

Alana schooled her expression, making her eyes intense and sucking in her cheeks to emphasize her bones.

“Quid pro quo, Margot.” Alana’s Hannibal impression was dismal, but Margot giggled anyway. “What was it like sleeping with a boy who was thinking of a man, while you yourself were imagining Rita Hayworth?”

Margot smiled pensively.

“I hope Will was just making that face because he was thinking of Hannibal.”

“What face?”

Margot furrows her brow and scrunches her mouth up. She started making little panting noises and grunting, her face never losing its worried expression.

“I’ve never seen anyone so serious. I’m surprised he came.”

Alana raised an eyebrow.

“Did you?”

Margot pulled a face, her nose wrinkling.

“I had five dogs watching as a man fucked me…what do you think?”

Alana stuck out her tongue, eyes crinkling. Margot picked up her fake microphone again and held it out to Alana.

“So how was the famous Dr. Lecter?”

Alana thought for a moment, eyes shining.

“Clinically good. He knew exactly what to do and where to do it…” Margot tilted her head, grinning wide.

“But it was almost like he had someone else on his mind?” She offered. Alana smacked Margot.

“I’d like to think I held his attention for a bit.” Alana pulled her shoulders back, trying not to examine the slight sting she felt when it occurred to her that she probably hadn’t held Hannibal’s attention at all. A hand landed on her thigh, squeezing.

“Of course you did” Alana knew she was being handled, but she smiled at her wife anyway. Margot squeezed her thigh, her eyes bright. “But I have to know…was he as well-endowed as Jimmy says he is in the fic?”

“What? Oh god. If I had to describe Hannibal’s penis…” Alana drew it out, Margot was practically bouncing in place.

“YES? YES?”

“I’d say it was polite.”

Margot let out a shriek, falling into Alana as she cackled.

“Did it thank you?” Alana huffed a small laugh.

“No it was attractive, and accommodating, yet unobtrusive.”

Another squeal from Margot.

“UNOBTRUSIVE?” She was struggling to breathe. “Did you tell him that? No wonder he wants to kill us!”

Alana snickered, shaking her head.

“No! I mean, once we were done, it was like it went away.”

Margot gasped for air.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“No awkward morning erections, no weird pressing into my ass when we were cuddling.” Alana shrugged. “It was actually nice.”

“So what you’re saying is that Hannibal’s penis literally retracts when someone who isn’t Will is in his bed?”

Alana squeezed her eyes shut and slapped a hand to her face. She shoved at Margot with her foot.

“SO…” Margot looked up at her with a confused expression. Alana tried not to sound genuinely interested when she posed her next question. “What about Will?”

“After it was over, I got dressed and got out.” Margot was pensive for a moment. She was still bright red from her laughing fit. “Although now that I think about it, we both looked like we were going to cry.”

Alana nudged Margot with her foot again.

“Well, Will was probably upset that you were rude to the dogs.”

Margot cringed.

“Jesus, those goddamn dogs.” Margot sighed. “I just…I know no one in bed that night was with their first choice, but he could have at least put them in the fucking bathroom.”

Alana widened her eyes, gasping.

“Lock up his babies? Next you’ll want him to feed them canned dog food!” Alana flung her arm across her brow, feigning a swoon.

“Do you know what it’s like to look someone in the eye and feel something lick your toe?” Margot giggled. “If I wasn’t already over the concept of men, THAT would have done it.”

Alana’s mouth twisted into a wry smile.

“You think that’s weird? Guess who quotes Dante when he comes?”

Margot squawked.

“OF COURSE HE DOES.” Margot’s laugh was gasping. “What did he say? You have to tell me.”

“I don’t speak Italian.” Alana shrugged. “When I asked, he said it was Dante.”

Margot poked her.

“You don’t remember?”

Alana looked up, eyes distant.

“I do, actually, because he said it ever time…wait…something like _Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate_?” Alana looked at Margot. “Something like that. Does that even make sense?”

Margot’s hands shot to her mouth. The snorting hoots that spilled out left her breathless. Soon she was making the most undignified choking noises.

“A-are you sure?” Margot wheezed. Alana nodded, causing a new fit of hysterics from her wife. “Oh god. He didn’t. He wouldn’t.”

Alana winced.

“Oh god, what was that bastard saying?”

“All hope abandon, ye who enter here!”

Alana made a noise that was the bastard child of a giggle and an indignant snort.

“DID THAT FUCKER CALL MY VAGINA HELL?” Her mouth dropped to an enraged “o” shape.

Margot nodded, snorting and gasping for air.

“That piece of shit.” Alana was fuming. “It wasn’t exactly like I was transported to heaven every time! You know for a cannibal, his skill at eating people leave a lot to be desired!”

Margot dropped a soothing hand on Alana’s shoulder, she was still snickering.

“He was a prick, darling.” Margot snorted. “A prick with an unobtrusive prick.”

Alana grinned.

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“If he comes for us, I promise you that will be the last thing I say before I die.” Margot was shimmying lower on the bed, her head resting on Alana’s thigh. “It’s positively rude to talk about my gorgeous wife that way.”

It was difficult to remain indignant when Margot’s lips were trailing along her inner thigh. Margot’s fingers found their way under Alana’s chemise, tickling their way towards Alana’s chest. Suddenly, Alana found it very hard to care what Hannibal thought of her.

Margot stilled. Alana squirmed at the feeling of steady breaths high on her thigh.

“W-what are you doing?” The hand softly stroking just under her breast was making Alana feel light-headed.

“Just give me a moment.” A soft kiss landed at the juncture of Alana’s hip. “I’m abandoning my hope.”

“Oh, that’s it!” Alana grabbed Margot, rolling in the sheets until she found the soft spot just under Margot’s ribs and mercilessly pressed into it. Margot’s giddy laugh filled the room.


End file.
